The critical element in the ongoing creation of identity is communication. A great deal of this is in human person-to-person exchange, but the picture is much wider than that, involving the width, breadth and depth of the vast array of cultural experiences in which we are continually immersed both consciously and unconsciously. The world around us, and each of the contexts in which we find ourselves asks us who and how we need to be if we are to succeed and survive. When it comes to decision-making, identity is our CEO. We also need to be ready to shift the identity we are wearing when the context shifts, or we are thrust into a new situation which demands something different of us.
“Wearing an identity” sounds very much like dressing up appropriately for what we are doing, where we are going, and with whom we will be engaging in the coming day. I believe the idea of what we wear and why provides us with an excellent metaphor for understanding identity. As we build our identity, it is somewhat like creating or assembling a wardrobe that allows us to choose what we need to wear. How we dress may be a part of it but selecting what part of our identity to bring into play in a way that fits what we are doing, whom we are with, and what we need to accomplish involves a far larger engagement of the potential that exists in our identities.
It’s very much like getting out of bed in the morning and deciding what you need to wear for the day so that you can be who you need to be. However, it’s much more than our morning prep for the day. Rather, we are continuingly standing before the wardrobe of our identity, consulting it on an ongoing basis, each time we enter a new context or the context in which we find ourselves is interrupted or swings in a new direction.
Over the course of a lifetime we will play many different roles, each of which summons up features of our identity. As we may choose our clothes, given the context in which we need to act, is obvious that we may have both multiple roles and complicated contexts that may cause us to quickly change or add or subtract to the identity that we are wearing. As we dress for the day or choose features of our identity to highlight for a specific context, it is important to remember to choose to wear not only what fits in the eyes of others, but what will protect our health from dangerous chill or heat in those contexts in which we how likely to find ourselves.
In our complex multicultural world, there is no guarantee that our identity wardrobe has everything we need for every situation and context. We may have to stitch together or go shopping for something entirely new and different from what we are used to. Then we may have to wear it for quite a while before we become accustomed to it and feel comfortable with it. This is the challenge of flexibility that life on our planet may ask us to exercise at any moment.
Once dressed for the occasion, we still face the ongoing challenge of making appropriate choices and actions stemming from our roles. We find ourselves more often these days onstage without much rehearsal to support our part in the drama of life. This leads us ask, what are the skills, tools, and habits we need to develop that will enable us to speak and behave appropriately from the roles we have adopted to meet the demands of the context we find ourselves in.
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